Beat traffic tickets with Citationator.com

Warning: offensively opinionated discourse follows!

My goal is to help safe, law-abiding drivers beat unwarranted traffic citations. I have no desire to assist those people who flaunt the law, drive like maniacs, or drive like idiots:

(1) If you have been cited for driving while intoxicated (DWI), driving under the influence (DUI), driving without a license, or driving without insurance, then get off this site immediately; you're dangerously irresponsible, a threat to traffic safety, and are not welcome here. I have no desire to help you beat your well-deserved citation.

(2) If you're an inexperienced underage driver whose stupid parents actually let you drive (almost anyone under 18, in my opinion) or an overage driver who can't navigate safely any more due to poor reflexes and lack of concentration (almost anyone over 70, as far as I'm concerned), then you should also leave this website. I consider it indefensible that you're actually allowed to drive at all because, statistically, you're the root cause of the majority of traffic accidents in the United States!

(3) If you're one of those jerks who hectically swerves in-and-out of traffic thinking that your psychotic maneuvers will get you home significantly faster, then get off this site and get off the road. Your type generally causes other people to have accidents, and you should not be allowed behind the wheel of any motor vehicle.

You'll notice that I do not provide defenses on this site for "red light cameras" and rolling through stop signs. That is because I consider those offenses more serious than speeding (because people who run red lights and stop signs cause more accidents than speeders) and believe anyone caught violating those laws should be punished. (If a camera photographs you in the intersection when the light turns red, but you actually didn't break the law by a few tenths of a second, you're still irresponsible and guilty as far as I'm concerned—courteous, safe drivers will stop at a yellow light to allow oncoming drivers waiting in the intersection to make their left turn safely. If you didn't stop for them, then I believe you should be cited and fined. Learn a little patience!)

Driving is a privilege...not a constitutionally guaranteed right. I fully support the axiom that if you abuse your privilege to drive, your license should be suspended. I also believe that DMV driving tests are far too lenient, and that too many unqualified drivers are given licenses. It is these incompetent fools who necessitate our artificially low speed limits and indirectly cause such headaches for otherwise safe motorists who happen to drive a little faster or take small liberties in safe situations.

For the majority of you reading this who fall into the category of "law-abiding poor sap in the wrong place at the wrong time on the wrong end of a radar gun," I do apologize for your having to read the preceding rant. A small pool of drivers ruins the roads for the rest of us, and I have no patience for them (or the institutions which allow them to drive in the first place). But now that I have finished venting my frustration at All Things About Which I Can Do Nothing, we can proceed with Citation Termination!

Let's discuss why you should fight your traffic ticket...